I need a red string bracelet.

Well, the rain seems to have stopped, but not before our area's rainfall for this year surpassed Seattle's by ten inches. Take that, you coffee-chugging, flannel-wearing bitches!
My Jewish Mysticism class this semester is the evil twin of my music perception class last semester. As in the music perception class, I spend a lot of time struggling to wrap my mind around complicated concepts. Unlike that class, there's absolutely no payoff. Every time I think I understand something, I don't. Apparently studying the Kabbalah requires the ability to delve through layers upon layers upon layers of contradicting commentaries, cryptic scriptures and sentences that mean the exact opposite of what they appear to mean. Unless you happen to be Madonna, in which case it requires the ability to wear a trendy red string bracelet. Celebrities have the religion thing a little easier than us mere mortals, I guess. Jesus answers the prayers of those who dedicate their lives to him, but he only does it when he's not walking with Kanye West. Buddha seems to have completely forgiven Richard Gere for "Shall We Dance." And it's no wonder that bad things happen to good people when God's busy darting from studio to studio, helping artists make hit records on the condition that S/He is given a shout-out in the liner notes and at the Grammys.
I wish more celebrities were Satanists. I can just picture John Mayer up on stage, accepting a Grammy for one of his sensitive, parent-friendly ballads, saying "Uh, I'd like to thank my mom, my producer...Oh, and Satan. I couldn't have made this record without him. If everyone could just let Satan into their lives, the world would be a better place."