I'm only awake enough to write the following:

I never thought--not in a million years--that I'd ever find myself longing for the luxurious comfort of the economy class on a Russian overnight train.
That was before spending two out of the last three nights riding economy class on a British overnight bus.
I am now convinced that all of London's famous serial killers--Jack the Ripper and such--were just mild-mannered Scotsmen who decided to take a holiday in England and, over the course of the bus ride there, became completely deprived of their faith in humanity and subsequently went insane. The only thing that kept me from going over the edge was my iPod, which, in a miracle rivalling that of Chanukah, held its charge the entire way to London and back.

I think there was a list of overnight bus rules and regulations that I missed. If I had to guess, I'd say it went something like this...
1. Welcome to Silver Choice Coaches. The use of cellular telephones on this vehicle is permitted. In fact, it's encouraged. You know that friend of yours back in New Zealand? You now have loads of time to talk to him! What are you waiting for?
2. Any and all couples on this coach, married or otherwise, ought to behave as if they were alone on the bus--after all, when you're spending a holiday together, there's so little time for the two of you to make out.
3. At approximately 2 a.m., there will be a short "comfort" stop at a store that only sells crisps. Really crunchy crisps. Please eat these throughout the remainder of the ride. If simply eating the crisps fails to produce an appropriate decibel level, try crinkling the bag.
4. Please be considerate of your fellow passengers when reclining your seat. Unless, of course, the passenger behind you is small and harmless-looking. If that's the case, recline away. There! Don't you feel more comfortable now?
5. As the crew of this coach, it is our duty to make sure your trip goes as smoothly as possible. It is also our duty to make an announcement every time you're just on the verge of falling asleep. So sit back, relax, and you'll be hearing from us soon!

Details from my actual stay in London (which went a whole lot better than the bus rides) to come when I'm feeling more awake and less disgruntled.