In which I meet Adolph Hipster.

The Echo's had some good shows recently. Two Fridays ago it was the Raveonettes--yet another boy-girl indie rock duo, but at least they're not married. Saturday was SoCalled, a Canadian group going for that ever-broadening indie/hip-hop/klezmer demographic. The following Tuesday, the Cold War Kids played a benefit show that had the hipsters lining up around the block. The show was awesome--if I hadn't been able to see it for free I would've lined up and paid the $20 in a heartbeat, I swear. And then last Thursday there were a bunch of bands who all went to the same high school as one of my NWE coworkers. Sadly, the streak ended Saturday thanks to several ironic-techno-spinning DJs. What sticks with me most about that night was a certain patron whose facial hair was so controversial, I couldn't help asking about it.

RACHEL (while wristbanding): Dude, um, what's with the mustache?
GUY WITH HITLER MUSTACHE: What do you mean?
RACHEL: Just...careful how many Jews you offend with that thing, you know?
GIRL CLUTCHING ARM OF GUY WITH HITLER MUSTACHE: (giggles) Oh, it's OK, I'm Jewish!

Now, that mustache would've looked disgusting even if it didn't immediately recall the most reviled dictator/mass murderer of this past century. There are certain guys who intentionally try to camouflage their good looks as much as possible--even if they don't have any to begin with--and this guy (who was also wearing a neon vest and proto-mullet) was definitely one of them. I honestly don't think he was thinking about you-know-who when he inflicted that hideous patch on his upper lip. But it seems to me that even the most ironically repulsive hipster wouldn't have been able to sport the 'stache for more than a few hours before a glance in the mirror--or maybe a Jewish girlfriend--made him come to his senses and break out the Schick Quattro.
So either this guy and his girlfriend are into some seriously kinky role-playing, or they are the two most oblivious people ever to walk this earth. Either way, I'd like to categorically state that Hitler mustaches are just plain Not Okay. Unless you're a cat. But even then it's creepy.