Finally, an answer to the question...

What do you get when you put a book of "Mad Libs" in the hands of four girls, two of whom are drunk, several of whom are reading a feminist diatribe called "Cunt," and none of whom have gotten any for a good long while?

You really don't want to know. But here they are anyway...

HOW TO ENJOY YOURSELF AT THE BEACH
When you go to the beach, you must take along a big blanket, a thermos bottle full of SKEET, lots of suntan MENSTRUAL FLUID, and a couple of folding TOILETS. Then you put on your NEGLIGEE, so you can get a beautiful TURQUOISE to last you all summer. You should also have a big hat to keep the sun off your CLITORIS. If you want exercise, you can find some TROUSER SNAKES to play volleyballl with. Volleyball is America's favorite SLIMY game. You can also bring a SLINKY lunch, such as hard-boiled PUBES, a few SEA SPONGE sandwiches with mustard, and some bottles of FALLOPIAN TUBE cola. If you remember all of the above and get a place near an AROUSED lifeguard, you can sunbathe DUBIOUSLY all day.

ADVERTISEMENT FOR A CRUISE SHIP
Come aboard the famous cruise ship, "Love SKEET." Your vacation will stretch from the land of the midnight FUCKER to the sunny DILDOS of the mediterranean. You and your CUNTS will stay in a luxurious private CONDOM. You will dine in DRUNK surroundings in our magnificent banquet hall on the ACCOMODATOR deck. Every night there will be entertainment by AUDREY and her musical BEDS. The DESIRABLE cruise will visit the island port of CASABLANCA and then go alnong the coast of MY PANTS. We will drop GAS in EAST BUTTFUCK and spend all day VIBRATING. You can live CONTAGIOUSLY and all for only 120 OCTOPI a day.


I told you you didn't want to know...