I. Am. Not. Obsessed.

So during my work hiatus this past week I managed to get in more than a few episodes of "Sex and the City," the most disturbing of which was the one where Miranda complained that she had suffered a three-month "drought."
   Me?  Six and counting.  And that includes anything even remotely connected with sex or relationships, unless you count attempting to get away from a drunken, horny hallmate (with a girlfriend, no less) who was being a little overfriendly at a dance party a few months back.
  It seems like the months have taken the form of stages, which I will now try to delineate for the benefit of the reader.
  Month 1: The "Woohoo! I'm Now a Hot Single College Girl" stage.
  Month 2: The "So Where Are All the Hot Single College Guys?" stage.
  Month 3: The "Ok, It's Cool, I Don't Need Males to Survive or Anything" stage.
  Month 4: The "Or Do I?" stage.
  Month 5: The "Would It Be So Bad If I Just Called Up My Ex, You Know, For 'Coffee' Or Something" stage. 
  Month 6: The "Hmmm, That Guy With the Acne and the Grateful Dead Shirt Is Looking Pretty Good Right About Now" stage.
   On the plus side, if I ever go to Russia I've got practically guaranteed ass from an 18-year-old Moscow resident  I met online while researching a soap opera.  They had a chat room in which you could discuss the show, and I entered hoping to get the opinion of the masses.  By the time I left I had exchanged e-mails with this kid, who asked me to send a picture of myself.  Not likely.  He was macking on me because I was an American college co-ed, his mental picture of which is probably Pam Anderson or Britney Spears.  Russian girls don't have much in the way of boobs, I guess because they don't drink milk over there, and especially not the milk with all the hormones in it.  Anyway, I'm not dissuading him until I get what I want from him, which is more information about the soap opera. 
  As for Russian guys...I'm reserving judgement till I see his picture, but trust me, they don't tend to be easy on the eyes.  Actually, the main problem is that they don't tend to be easy on the nose.  In their country, showers are reserved for once a month.  If that.