Dae ye ken Ken kens Ken?

I was feeling a little nervous about not being able to understand anyone in Scotland, so, on a random whim, I Googled "scottish accent."
Apparently the complexities of the accent are such that someone felt compelled to write a whole Wikipedia article about it.
That heading, by the way, is how a typical Scot would say "Do you know Ken knows Ken?"
Something tells me I'll be even worse off language-wise there than in Russia.
The Google search also yielded a site selling CDs full of "romantic poetry read in a rich, sexy Scottish accent." I had no idea that was such a commodity.