My family is trying to kill me.

I mean it. Just when I tell myself I'm going to be serious about the whole eating healthy and cutting down on sweets thing, another relative sends me chocolate. One of the few drawbacks to being Jewish, I guess.
It's like they don't believe what they hear about the dining halls here. They picture rows of skeletal college students, chained to the walls, being fed teaspoons full of gruel. In reality, those not-so-skeletal students are lining up for seconds of sushi and pie. Mmmm, pie...
They also don't seem to perceive my serious lack of willpower. It's very rarely that I actually go out and buy myself sweets. But when there's chocolate in front of me, which, thanks to my aunt, father and grandfather, happens a lot, I can't not eat it. It's especially dangerous at this time of year, when piles of work and finals to study for keep me confined to my room much of the time. "You're working so very hard..." my grandfather's box of See's candy whispers to me. "Just one bite? You deserve it. Come on, before your youthful metabolism disappears and you gain weight just by breathing. What's the matter, my chocolatey goodness isn't tasty enough for you? Eat me. EAT ME!"
Dammit. Stupid persuasive box.
I inherited my mother's habit of cutting chocolates in half before eating them. It seems so logical--if you eat half of a piece of candy, then eat the other half a few minutes later, it really isn't the same as if you eat the whole thing in one bite. I mean, everyone knows cutting stuff in half makes all the calories fall out...right? Well, that's my reasoning and I'm sticking to it--sticking like caramel nougat sticks to your teeth. Mmmm, nougat...