Thirsty for some religious enlightenment?

So apparently this month is no longer April, but "Gay-pril"--or so say the fliers plastered ubiquitously around campus. I wonder if that's why they chose this month to promote queer awareness. "Gay-vember" and "Gay-gust" don't have the same ring to them. The obvious choice would be to just change one letter in "May," but maybe that's a little too straightforward. Anyway, to show our support for the queer community, we're supposed to wear blue jeans tomorrow. Which seems silly, considering most people tend to wear blue jeans most days anyway. If I were in control of this sort of thing, I'd make everyone wear pink. It'd be more conspicuous and more likely to make people think about gay rights. Not to mention how darn cute it would make the campus look.
On a completely unrelated note: I went to a lecture at the Kabbalah Center in L.A. (that's right, the one Madonna goes to) on a field trip with my Jewish Mysticism class, and...wow. It was the closest I've ever come to attending one of those motivational self-help classes, except the guy was wearing a yarmulke. He kept talking about how we could use Kabbalah to build confidence, form lasting relationships, and find soulmates. He didn't explain how we could use it--after all, it was a free lecture. But all I could think about was what I had learned about Kabbalah in my actual class, which, after several months, turned out to be depressingly little: parables about donkey drivers, advice on rearranging letters in words to find the true name of God, comparisons of the Torah to a beautiful maiden, and tales of some bipolar guy who claimed he was the Messiah. This is supposed to help me find a soulmate?
Similarly puzzling were the items in the gift shop, including bottles of "Kabbalah Water" and books on better sex through Kabbalah. This is to actual Jewish mysticism what Santa Claus is to the Bible. The difference is that there are no illusions about using Santa Claus to unlock one's inner potential--we know it's a strictly commercial thing. L.A. Kabbalah, on the other hand, attempts to convince people that theirs is a legitimate religion while simultaneously charging $26 for red string bracelets. I didn't buy one, but I did get Kabbalah water. It's bottled in Canada.