The end of the beginning.

Some of my readers who have been with me since the beginning (of which there are how many, two?) may recognize that heading's reference to my first post in this blog, made exactly one year ago today. So much has changed since then. I mean, when I took that first tentative step into the blogging world, I was stuck on a practically empty campus with a borrowed car and limited cooking ability, working in a resume-padding research position for one of my professors. And now, a year and a hundred-odd posts later, I'm...ah, shit.
I guess that's the most simultaneously frustrating and comforting thing about life: some things change, but some things stay exactly the same. That isn't to say I'm not any different than I was a year ago. How about a little retrospective action...

Life-altering realization this year: Whatever I do in the future will involve music in some way. Which still leaves things pretty vague, but it's a step up from having no idea whatsoever. At first I thought my desire for a musical career might be misleading: after all, we're trained to believe that music is cooler than everything else, and maybe my wanting to make a career out of it meant I just didn't want to be boring or dorky. But then, after two amazing music classes this year, I realized that there's a difference between idle dreams of rock stardom and spending hours and hours trying to compose on piano. Between saying a song "totally affects me" and applying Lerdahl's theory of tonal pitch space to twenty-two pop songs (including "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne) in an attempt to analyze their emotional impact. Someone who's obsessed--really obsessed--with music, in other words, is no less of a dork than someone similarly obsessed with math or computer science. For some reason, I find that comforting.

I also realized that what I see as a healthy level of dry self-deprecation gives other people the impression that they can treat me like a doormat. I'll have to work on that.

Relationships this year: A half plus a half equals one, right? Right. One relationship. One totally normal, flawless, mutually satisfying relationship. Oh, I crack myself up.
Here's the good news, though: I may not be so successful at getting a guy for myself, but I'm excellent at being a third wheel or a cock-block. I wonder how much money I could make if couples paid me to stay away from them.

Things I learned outside of class this year: sketchy Russian men are best hung out with in moderation; professors make the best drinks ever; friendships can be ridiculously fragile; the craziest nights of your life happen when you tell yourself you're just going to stay in and do schoolwork; family is a lot more important than I thought it was in high school; I really should have bought a Mac instead of a PC; earplugs make you look like a tool but being able to hear after playing two hours of straight-up metal is worth it; sometimes it's better to have no relationship than a supremely dysfunctional one; just because all the cool indie people like a band doesn't mean you have to; and when the sign on a parking garage says it closes at midnight, you damn well better believe it closes at midnight.
Things I learned in class this year: Uh...some parable about a donkey driver?

This summer: Well, judging from the meeting I just had with my professor, my brain is going to explode from lack of comprehension of the basic principles of atonal music. When that's not happening I'll be playing in a sellout girl rock band, or taking jazz guitar lessons, which will require hours of practice. On top of that, I'll be turning 20, attempting to visit the gym every day, and getting all my stuff in order before my semester in Russia, starting in T minus three and a half months. I heard some people take time to relax in the summer? Not buying it.

So welcome to a new era, my avid readers (of which there are how many now, three?) The halfway point of college. The start of a summer in southern California. And a new year in the Blogosphere.