My haul for Valentine's Day this year:

--Chocolate, courtesy of my mom and stepdad.
--An Ampelmann bottle opener, also from them (Ampelmann is, for those not in the know, the guy on all East Berlin traffic lights. He is awesome, not in the least because his name, literally translated from the German, is "traffic light man.")
--A carnation--one of those "Carnation-gram" things they set up outside the dining halls where you pay $1.50 towards stopping genocide and they send someone you like a flower on Valentine's Day--from Stephanie. I love both Steph and stopping genocide, but damn if I wasn't secretly hoping the flower would be from...someone exciting. Ah, well.
--A Valentine-themed coupon for a free frozen yogurt at 21 Choices. The same coupon every other person at my school got.
--The usual profound sense of self-loathing I've felt every Valentine's Day since I realized there's no way a single person can exist on Valentine's Day without seeming lonely and bitter. Any attempt at cynicism or wit is seen as a deflection; ignoring it or denouncing it as a Hallmark holiday makes you a hypocrite, knowing as you do that if you were coupled up, you'd be at that dimly lit Italian restaurant along with the rest of 'em; trying to reclaim February 14th as "Vagina Day" is just kind of scary.
My coping mechanism was to think about it this way: I'm bitter about the whole relationship thing most of the time, and V-day is the one day out of the year where I don't have to cover that up. It worked, to the extent that I didn't shoot myself or drink a lot, but I think by the end of the day I was starting to scare people. Sigh. There's always next year...